It’s more than what you “like”…
Design and decor is about more than what you “like.” It should be about what you LOVE and what makes you FEEL a certain way.
When I meet someone new, I like to ask a few really pointed questions when trying to understand their design style. I like to ask them about a place that they saw (or stayed or visited) that made them say, “WOW.” I also like to ask about feelings (which is kind of an awkward thing to talk about when you don’t know someone) but what I like to get to when asking this question is, where have you been when you’ve felt overjoyed or relaxed or nostalgic or any other feeling that they want to be reminded of. Decor in the home is so much about a feeling and understanding what elicits a response for you. What I makes me joyful and what makes you joyful are likely different things, and that’s a beautiful thing! Getting to the bottom of what makes you feel a certain way is where you want to start when you start thinking about how you want your home to look.
I like to tell the story of the time when my grandparents lived with us. They had come home from the Middle East (as the Gulf War was heating up) and they stayed in my room. I remember they both had leather coats and they hung them in my closet. I remember walking into my room and smelling the leather fill the room. To this day when I smell leather, it reminds me of them and the months they spent living with us. I have found myself drawn to candles and fragrances that have leather in them and when I smell just the right one, it elicits a flood of memories deep in my young girl memory bank. When I find something that does that to me, I bring it into my home and when I light it, the scent that radiates throughout my home brings those memories to the front of my mind. It is familiar, comforting and happy, just the way I want my house to feel.
Another funny smell story for me comes from probably one of my earliest memories. I must have only been 4 or 5 years old at the time, but the smell stuck with me all these years. My mom had taken us to her best friend’s (my Godmother’s) parent’s house. I remember my godmother’s dad used to smoke a pipe, and I loved the smell of his pipe tobacco. At the time, I had no idea what the smell was or if I liked it or not. It wasn’t until years later when I smelled pipe tobacco out of the blue that it triggered the memory of being in their house as a young child. It was a pleasant smell to me, a memory of family and friends. To this day, almost every candle I buy has tobacco as a scent in it!
I encourage you to think about the things that elicit a positive response for you. This is pure psychology, something you often don’t think about when you think of decor. This goes back to Pavlov and his dogs, who learned that with the sound of a bell they’d get a treat. After pairing a treat with the sound of a bell over time, soon enough the dogs would salivate at the sound of a bell, whether a treat came or not. Run your own experiments in your mind and think about what triggers you. Maybe it’s a smell, a color, a piece of art, a pattern, a fabric. Maybe you grew up in a home where your mom baked apple pies all the time when you were growing up, and maybe you find yourself drawn to apple pie scented candles. Or maybe you visited a posh hotel on vacation in some tropical location and they had unique art work of palm trees and every time you see a painting of a palm tree, you are reminded of that vacation. These are the types of things you want to take notice of.
It’s so important to recognize what makes you feel a certain way, both positive and negative. For example, the daycare that I attended as a very young child used Pine Sol to clean. To this day, when I smell Pine Sol, I am immediately turned off as it brings back negative feelings of feeling alone in daycare. It’s an instant recognition for me, an instant nope. When I think about these things that elicit a response for me, smell is probably the number one thing that does it. What’s your biggest trigger of memories? Are you visually inclined, where you love/hate a certain “look” or type of art? Do you like the touch of familiar fabrics? Start asking yourself these questions so you can begin to paint a specific picture of your likes/dislikes. It will help guide you as you make decisions on what you should or should not be bringing into your home.